Are you a Velvet Hammer?
Oct 8th, 2009 by July Ono
My friend and colleague, Elaine Allison, has written a very simple and powerful book for women in positions of leadership or aspiring to be in a leadership position. She was one of Canada’s first female prison guards in an all-male maximum security prison. That takes a lot of courage and strength that is more than a physical strength. Real strength comes from mental preparedness that through experience translates into a special kind of mental toughness. In Elaine’s words, this is a Velvet Hammer - A woman of strength and courage, taking on a leadership role. That role could be as a mother leadership role, as a mentor and guide, a volunteer, as a supervisor or manager or CEO. Women’s leadership styles are significantly different than that of men. We are soft and firm, nurturing and disciplining. It is not a woman’s place to act like a man. It is our place as women to be a woman in a position of leadership that is congruent with our leadership style.
Her book was also a great reminder for me of how to conduct disciplinary methodologies when dealing with employees and contractors. It is not something to be avoided. It is something to be addressed immediately in a specific manner. I’m using her book as a guide to create a corporate policy and procedure on disciplinary issues.
Contrary to popular belief, discipline is a good thing. It comes from the root word “disciple,” which means pupil, which in turn denotes student or learner. Discipline is what leaders practice to offer correction and instruction so the person being instructed is made aware of a certain issue and offered corrective measures to implement. Physical or verbal abuse is not discipline … it is abusive behavior. There’s a difference.
And men, there are some great insights into how women leaders operate at home and at work. The techniques in her book are useful for leaders of any gender.
