The Meadow Report is the Point
Dec 23rd, 2009 by July Ono
I just spent 5-1/2 days from December 8 to 13 with Tony Robbins at Date With Destiny in Scottsdale, Arizona. If you ever have a chance to go, this is a premiere event and a definite two thumbs up. Tony’s style of teaching has become more rounded and holistic, I believe, due in large part to his eleven year relationship with his wife Sage. He’s come up with some brilliant relationship analogies which I will share one of my insights here with you.
Humans have an animal part of the brain, the limbic system, which is responsible for the fight or flight response. This is hard-wired in to us as a survival mechanism.
Early in our history, we can delineate two types of people: hunters and gatherers.
Hunters were male. They were physically stronger. Their brains developed to focus on the hunt. They seek prey, hunt prey and bring food back to the tribe. The tribe survives. Their primary mandate is to solve a problem and fix it. They really can only think one thing at a time. Mental distractions were costly to the hunt. The more distracted they became, the less efficient they were at catching game. The more they fixated, the more successful they were in the hunt.
Gatherers were female. They took care of the tribe. Their brains developed to multi-task on many different things simultaneously. Gatherers would be on the look out for berry markers. They seek out forage, reconnoiter the meadow for viable fruit, nuts and berries. They would mark each bush or tree and take detailed notes on the stage of ripeness, including which berries were good to eat and which berries were poisonous. The more detailed notes they retained, the better they ensured the survival of the tribe. After a berry marking trip, the gatherers would return to the tribe and give each other a Meadow Report. Gatherers were also preyed upon by larger animals and were especially vulnerable when the hunters were out. The Meadow Report ensured that everyone knew where the berries were in case something happened to that gatherer.
In today’s modern world, relationships are still based on the basic hunter/gatherer primal instincts. A couple has a discussion. The woman goes on and on and on with her grocery trip “meadow report”. The man’s version of the grocery trip is, “Went to the store, got milk.” The report is concise, focused and to the point which is what men are designed for. And he also solved a problem and fixed it by bringing the milk home. In his animal brain, he’s a hero. The woman’s version of the same grocery trip is about five minutes long and includes how she was feeling, tangents, related bits and pieces that don’t quite seem to fit into the description but relevant, why she needed the butter, and it goes on. The man is going insane. He wants her to get to the point.
And the point is … the Meadow Report is the point.
It’s what women do. Men don’t have to understand it. Just know that there’s nothing to solve or fix. Women just want to “meadow report” and it’s very natural for them. All men have to do is sit/stand patiently and listen. You don’t have to understand. Just be there and listen. And you’ll have a happy wife/girlfriend.
Men like to solve problems and fix things, especially for women. It’s what they’re designed to do so let them. When they do something for you, no matter how small, praise your man and tell him he’s your hero. Watch how it makes him feel. A kind word can make a man move mountains.
It’s pretty cool to see this in action in a room full of 2000 people. I highly recommend attending a Date With Destiny when you can. This is definitely an event worth re-attending in a few years.
December 22, 2009
